Why bother? : Even more "Exciting" news

The Paper Boy has just learned that the 'Ladykirk student' (who lives in Chelsea apparently) in the Big Brother house has walked out, I wonder if he knew upfront that his dad wasn't planning to watch the show ?

So there endeth any possible local interest angle that the Berwickshire may try to put on it. Although it's possible that the story may make it to this week's Berwickshire though if the clattering printing presses are not already rolling with this week's edition.

Berwickshire News May 25th

This week's front page is lead with the "exciting" news that one of the Big Brother housemates is a student from Ladykirk (population 5) although on the official BB website he's described as coming from London. The article also contains a candidate for typo of the week "Berwickire News".

Pledges have been made to improve dental services in Berwickshire by both health and education bosses - after last weeks news that the community dental service was to be discontinued at both Berwickshire High & Eyemouth High Schools.

The publican featured in the story on the BBC News website last week has made it into the Berwickshire too - slightly fuller article than the BBC ran, where it seems it's not just the landlord of the Commercial Inn that is complaining. Apparently neither of the most obvious cross-border candidates for the absconding drinkers are experiencing a ramp up in trade, so the destination of the mystery minibus of mystery drinkers is going to a mystery location. A call to PC Plum or Miss Marple is surely the next step.

The small blue butterfly (Cupido minimus) is now officially extinct in the Borders - it's been declared so by lepidopterists (ed: someone at the News has hit the dictionary in a big way I think) who have failed to find one over the last five years.

A Berwickshire farmer who has been described in the News and elsewhere as the "Father of Geology" has been commemorated in Jedburgh (which is in Roxburghshire) by a sculpture. James Hutton published his "Theory of Earth" in 1788 when almost everyone on both sides of the Atlantic was still a creationist, believing that the earth and all upon it were created by an appropriate deity in just under a week.

Torness Nuclear Power Station (East Lothian) exported 136GWh of electricity to the grid in April, enough for every single person in the UK to run a 2 bar electric fire for an hour and still have enough left over for the lights - although reactor 1 was offline from April 16th until April 29th and reactor 2 was out of action for most of the month after refuelling and a "Statutory Outrage". During the refuelling a safety boundary door was found to be open without any alarms sounding (ed:perhaps this is why there was an Outrage? - another candidate for typo of the week). The door was immediately closed and the batteries replaced in the alarm. (ed:Good to know that the integrity of a nuclear plant relies on a PP3 battery bought at Sir Morrison's)

An advertorial for Dunbar placed by the independent traders of the burgh - a picture captioned "Dunbar's busy High Street....." which looks like it was taken on a Sunday afternoon because there are only about 20 people visible.

Over at the Court of St. Kevin, the usual motley crew of low-level disorder. Lead off by an Eyemouth man TWOCing a car, making off with £20 of fuel (about 3 thimblesful at today's prices), driving with excess alcohol and without a licence or insurance. He took his uncle's car, was seen at 1.10am in a petrol station in Edinburgh, but wasn't accosted by the long arm of the law until 3.15am near Lamberton (only 55 miles or so) with one tyre missing from the car. Sentence deferred for social enquiry, community service and restriction of liberty reports. We'll see him again in court on June 14th.
A Paxton man took his wife and children to the pub and drove home afterwards, hit a hedge, tipped the car over and the occupants all climbed out and walked to the nearest house. The householder suspected drink was involved so called the Police and the driver was taken into custody. It transpires that he was driving without a licence, so also with invalid (but legitimate) insurance whilst unfit through drink - £450 fine and 12 month ban.
An Eyemouth man found guilty of assault following a fight with another drunken chap in Eyemouth in which thrown glass bottles were traded. The accused wished he "could give his side of the story but couldn't remember". Sheriff K said "it is the kind of loutish behaviour we can do without". Sentence deferred until June 24th pending social and community service reports.
A Duns woman found not guilty of breach of the peace following an incident in Duns Market Square, however as she didn't turn up on right time, she was found guilty of contempt of court. Sentence deferred for the usual social/community service reports. Back June 14th.
An Eyemouth man appeared charged with driving without insurance. It transpired he'd bought a new car but hadn't transferred his insurance. He had a cover note that started 7 days after he was picked up by the Police. £150 and 6 penalty points for his trouble.

Michael Moore MP (he of the BBC story mentioned here today) is raising more (or are they the same) concerns over the digital TV switchover. He's primarily concerned by the levels of awareness that this is going to happen at all, and he wants it to be a success, not a disaster that the other 13 regions can learn from. (The picture is of "Digit Al" - the face of the digital TV switchover that must have taken literally seconds to name in some meeting of overpaid marketing types).

Interested readers can find out more at DigitalUK's website here or can ask questions about the switchover via the DigitalTVCumbria pages - link on the right (this is an unofficial forum, questions answered by real people who live in the area and are aware many of the difficulties posed by the topography of the Border region - north and south of the Border - so realistic answers are a priority).

Picture of Duns Sheriff Court courtesy of the Scottish Courts website

MP calls for digital map removal

Another local story on the BBC News website - the headline sounds far more alarming than the reality of course....

A Borders MP is calling for Digital UK to withdraw some of its leaflets for television switchover in his region.

Lib Dem Michael Moore says maps miss out Berwickshire from the Border TV region which will switch in 2008.

He says this is "simply incorrect" and has asked for the company to withdraw leaflets from public libraries.

Nice to see he's concentrating on the very blobby map (which had an estimated resolution of 5 miles either way) - rather than the accompanying text, which actually made sense whilst not telling the entire story.

Any readers who are getting ITV1 Border through your aerial, then you will be affected by the switch off in 2008.

Drinkers being sprited away

An interesting story on the BBC News website today where a Coldstream publican is claiming that 40% of his customers are being spirited away (by minibus) to an undisclosed licensed premises in England so they can enjoy a smoke with their pint. He's quoted as saying "We are still trying to find out what pub it is but unfortunately everybody is keeping quiet about that" - surely it's possible to either board the mysterious minibus or to follow it. Anyway there aren't that many pubs on the other side of the border within sensible distance and again I don't think it's beyond the wit of man to check them out.

Berwickshire News, May 18th

Rumblings of more NHS changes fill the front page of this weeks Berwickshire News. This time it's not the Cottage Hospitals at Jedburgh & Coldstream that are under scrutiny, but the community dental service run via Berwickshire High in Duns and Eyemouth High - which are both due to be replaced under the 3HS programme in summer 2008. The cottage hospitals action groups are reported to have had a postive meeting with the Scottish Health Minister - although the closures are still very much a real threat. Lothian & Borders Police have set out a new set of goals for policing in the Borders - notably focusing on road policing (particularly motorcyclists) and alcohol-related crimes.

Inside there's the mention of a former Coldstream man whose family returned with his ashes to scatter them on the River Tweed (it's not noted what SEPA thought of this, but the Paper Boy is aware that some agencies are concerned at the amount of ashes being scattered in the general countryside upsetting the natural state of the soil). There's also an article outlining a careers service pilot for Borders pupils with a roadshow at the Border Union Showground in Kelso coming up.

Royal Mail are commended for delivering above their target in the TD postcode area where apparently 94.1% of first-class mail is delivered one working day after posting. Also an advertorial feature on "Berwickshire's Leading Fishing Port" - that's Eyemouth to the uninitiated, although the Paper Boy can only think of two other harbours on the Berwickshire coast (Cove & St. Abbs) - so very much a big fish in a small pond.

Over at Sheriff Kevin's court we have a Duns teenager disqualified for TWOCing his mother's car whilst under the influence of alcohol with no insurance or L-plates. He crashed the car (writing it off) and was relieved of £500 by Sheriff Kevin and banned for a year. Another Duns man convicted of stealing power tools from an unlocked van parked in the town, he claimed it was a drunken prank, but our Kevin was having none of it and fined him £300 for the 'prank' and a further £150 for failing to turn up at court previously. All go in Duns clearly this week because another Duns man failed to report an accident - seems a bit harsh to have got the £100 fine and 5 points for it given the other driver apparently became aggressive and abusive. An Ayton man struck his wife with a chair whilst enjoying a family day out in an Eyemouth pub - it's reported that she became aggressive and he tried to take their daughter away to prevent the child becoming upset. Wife took exception and Hubby threw a chair at her. £100 to Sheriff's tea fund. An Earlston woman appeared in front of Duns Sheriff court charged with stealing goods to the value of a total of £15.50 from two shops in Galashiels. Defendant claimed depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Sheriff K having none of it "I don't know what's going on in the background, but we'll have no more of it". Sentence deferred for 6 months to allow her to demonstrate good behaviour. A Grantshouse youth was charged with wasting police time in absentia after claiming he'd been pushed off his moped and mugged. His parents grassed him up for spending the cash in an amusement arcade, so Sheriff K requested his presence on May 31. A Coldstream man fined £200 for punching his adversary (with whom he has past form) after having a drink tipped over him, he left for another pub, some heated words were exchanged and then punches thrown. A Berwick man was relieved of £300 for being caught by Lothian & Borders Police in possession of heroin & cannabis in a layby on the A1 where he was slumped over the wheel with the engine running.

Sheriff Kevin pops up again on page 15 - this time sitting in Selkirk Sheriff Court, in a case involving a 74-year-old Eyemouth woman who fell asleep behind the wheel on Melrose bypass hit another vehicle and failed to stop after the accident. Sheriff Kevin was suitably unimpressed by her 51-year clean driving record and imposed a £350 fine and 5 penalty points. He also advised that she should consider having her driving assessed by a driving instructor.

Picture of Duns Sheriff Court courtesy of the Scottish Courts website

New URL for the Papershop

In order to conduct some experiments for the boss, I'm relocating the Papershop to a different URL. The new URL should be operational within the next 24 hours at www.hunnymonster.org.uk

Bizarre cookery experiment

I'm a bit of an armchair enthusiast of Indian food, as is the boss and some time ago as a have-a-go-at-anything-once cook (I'm certainly not a chef!) I started making my own curries from scratch, trying to get as close as possible to the taste of the takeaway (so nothing like traditional domestic Indian cuisine).

Armed with a copy of "The Curry Secret", the curries are good, rice is good but the one thing that has been lacking from the home curry experience has been the naan bread - after much experimenting with various recipes and tinkering with them I'd got the taste near enough right, but it was lacking a bit of je ne sais quoi.

A few months ago, I stumbled across this site and noted with some amusement that the author had an idea for a tandoor substitute. (He also adds daft comments to most of his recipes - Mrs Beeton would no doubt be revolving in her grave at the informal style and non-standard methods & ingredients employed)

Traditionally, nan breads are cooked in a Tandori oven which is a clay oven shaped a bit like a flower pot.

I got mine from John Lewis for a fiver. Not surprisingly mine is shaped a lot like a flower pot and uses no electricity whatsoever. (my oven does though.)

You guessed it - he's using a terracotta flower pot as his tandoor - one cross-border trip to Berwick Garden Centre later and an experimental tandoor Mk I was procured for the sum of £2.80.

The dough was mixed up in the traditional japanese breadmaker and the experiment was a moderate success in as much as the bread cooked as expected, although the texture was all wrong. A subsequent attempt using a higher oven temperature than Madge & Geoffrey suggested yielded texturally better naans - the tandoor seems a totally ridiculous idea but it appears to work very well in my limited experiment.

So I have now acquired a "tandoor" (the Mk II - £4.30 from Berwick Garden Centre) that is as large as will reasonably fit into the oven here at the Papershop which will be used in anger for the first time tomorrow evening.

The Mk I has now been retired gracefully to the garden for it's normally recognised use.

For the record the dough recipe currently in use is as follows (in metric only I'm afraid) - makes 2 large naans (or one mega monster naan):

• 250g strong white flour
• ½ tsp dried yeast
• ½ tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp sugar
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 2 tbsp natural yoghurt
• 1 tsp kalonji (black onion) seed
• 100ml water

Sheriff Kevin of Duns

For those of you that have been wondering what our indomitable Borders lawman looks like in real life, here he is as seen in the Berwickshire on a visit to BGH in the run up to Christmas 2005, looking quite surprised - shame the photographer didn't get a better shot - but our Sheriff is quite a tricky man to track down pictorially online.

Of course he's not always been sitting in judgement - as long ago as 1997 he was on the side of Robbie the Pict in attempting to overturn the toll on the Skye Bridge.

IP Telephony again

Since the last time I posted about IP telephony, I've discovered that it's possible to use the Tesco USB telephone handset (including the dial buttons) with a number of popular softphones (ie. those that run as a program on your PC). Why does that matter at all ? Well they're currently on offer at Tesco's for a midge's whizzer under £15 and the sound quality on a call isn't bad at all.

A trip to here or here is all that's required to download the appropriate helper application.

Berwickshire News, May 11th

The front page of this week's Berwickshire is lead with an article that there's Air rifle danger for animals in Coldstream. The animals in question are cats and apparently a number have gone missing without trace, but one has been found deceased with airgun pellet wounds. The Paper Boy sympathises with those that have lost their beloved pets, but just how beloved is the pet that is kicked out of the house without much thought for it to come and defaecate on my lawn? If I were to go out and do likewise, I'd rightly expect to be up before Sheriff Kevin of Duns, but because they are "fluffy" and "cute" (neither attribute the Paper Boy would attach to a cat) they get away with it. Whoever is doing this and injuring the cats should have some heart and perhaps head off to the gunsmiths in Duns to pick up a 12-bore (ladies, youths) or 2-bore (mens) shotgun for the purpose. Any cat owners wishing to reclaim the deposits from my grass may do so by agreed appointment only.

There's a picture of the Chairman of the Coldstream Burns Society, Rob Smith (surely he should call himself Rab whilst on ceremony), making a right eejit of himself, kneeling in the roadway (the current pavements were only added in the 1960s when the bridge was strengthened and corbelled out pathways added) on Coldstream Bridge reenacting (with notes) the scene from May 7th 1787 where Robert (Rabbie) Burns set foot on English soil for the first time (no doubt grumbling about the fact that there was a toll on the bridge at the time) - for the sake of completeness here is what Rab (and presumably Rob Smith of the Coldstream Burns Society) said - though not reported in the Berwickshire:

O Scotia! my dear, my native soil!
For whom my warmest wish to Heaven is sent!
Long may thy hardy sons of rustic toil
Be blest with health, and peace, and sweet content!
And O! may Heaven their simple lives prevent
From Luxury's contagion, weak and vile!
Then, howe'er crowns and coronets be rent,
A virtuous populace may rise the while,
And stand a wall of fire around their much-lov'd Isle.

(Likes to get his exclamation marks in oor Rab)

He can't have thought much of English soil however as he was reportedly in the Masonic Lodge in Eyemouth by May 18th (again - not reported in the Berwickshire)

Inside, there's still disquiet that local election counts for the Borders could be held in Edinburgh with the results phoned (or otherwise communicated) back to the declaration in Galashiels. Part of the reason is that for the first time the council elections will be by the Single Transferrable Vote (STV) variant of proportional representation. Just why the location of the count should make for so much 'excitement' is beyond me - after all if I post a letter to my next door neighbour it will go via Edinburgh, a round trip of some 90+ miles. Where the votes are counted is immaterial to me, what is important is that the democratic process is carried out and that the result accurately mirrors the ballots cast, and despite being outwith the Borders - it's a point that is probably more easily accessible from all points of the Borders than Galashiels.

This weekend (May 13th/14th) was Jim Clark Memorial weekend where Jim's fans, friends and family gather to remember the great man of rallying & Formula 1 (when F1 wasn't just a 72-lap parade of noise). As usual they'll visit Charterhall, the Jim Clark Room in Duns and lay flowers on his grave in Chirnside.

Over at Sheriff Kevin's court a window being bricked in Burnmouth following hostilities between two men lead to the bricker being fined £200 and paying £120 compensation to the brickee. An Eyemouth woman pleaded guilty by letter of wasting Police time by falsely claiming her house had been broken into. Sentence deferred as the court accepted that her behaviour was a cry for help. Another Eyemouth man in court charged with breaching his ASBO, not for the first time - although our Border Law Man SKD promised the defendant "If you commit further offences I will send you back to jail". What do criminals have to do to get locked up these days?

There's more in the letters page about the new refuse arrangements - now a correspondent with a long drive is complaining that they have to take the sacks to the roadside and then that the refuse is not being collected and that the bags are see-through, which seems to be regarded as a breach of privacy because everyone passing can scrutinise her shopping and recycling habits. No doubt we can expect more activity in the letters page on this troublesome topic.

Picture of Duns Sheriff Court courtesy of the Scottish Courts website

Berwickshire News, May 4th

Apologies for the absence of the last couple of weeks....

Front page of this week's News is dominated by the news that Duns is to be one of the venues for a farewell parade by the King's Own Scottish Borderers (KOSB) ahead of their amalgamation into the Royal Regiment of Scotland.

A body has been recovered by the Dunbar lifeboat off Pease Bay - belonging to a West Lothian woman who went missing from her home on April 26th.

Coldstream Primary received a positive report from the schools inspectors - good or very good in 12 areas and adequate in the remaining three.

In Sheriff Kevin's court at Duns - a 21 year old Selkirk man was convicted of drink driving, driving without a licence and having no insurance and banned for 18 months and fined £380 (hardly a deterrent I'd suggest - given what many people pay for insurance for a year anyway). Sentence deferred on a 36 year old Eyemouth woman who had a disagreement with her partner upon returning from a drinking session, convicted of breach of the peace whilst on bail. Two youths convicted of criminal damage on a property under renovation in Coldstream - apparently they'd been "having a laugh" when a fire they started got out of hand. Another youth had sentence deferred on a charge of breaching the peace at a filling station in Eyemouth where he "shouted and swore" at another man and then challenged him to a fight.

Meanwhile over at the rival to the court of St. Kevin of Duns.... the Berwickshire District Court: Four motorists fined and disqualified after being found guilty of speeding on Berwickshire's roads. £590 in fines and 16 penalty points between them. All were disqualified under totting up procedure. Two men admonished for stealing a bottle of vodka from Eyemouth Co-Op - they paid back the £8.50 for the vodka apparently. Lorry driver fined £110 and given 4 penalty points for doing 56mph on the A1 near Penmanshiel, and a motorist fined for doing 72mph also on the A1 - £100 and 3 points. This week's Darwin award hopeful has to be the man who was admonished for "without reasonable excuse, wilfully or recklessly punch and break a window".

On the letters page there's a moan from a Reston correspondent that Berwickshire is poorly served by SBC - citing the state of the roads, the road sweeping, burial grounds amongst others before launching on to the new refuse & recycling arrangements. They have a fair point that there are no civic amenity sites in the eastern Borders (the Paper Boy frequents the Northumberland County Council-provided tips at Wooler or Berwick en passant simply because they're easier to get to than the chew on to get to Galashiels) Another correspondent bemoans the state of the public toilets in Eyemouth & St. Abb's - imploring SBC to see how East Lothian do it in Dunbar & North Berwick.

Picture of Duns Sheriff Court courtesy of the Scottish Courts website